What if Your Retirement Life Was Reviewed Like a Movie?

What if our satisfying retirement was like a movie review? Others watched your life unfold and gave you two thumbs up, or down. Rotten Tomatoes gave you a 65 or 95 or .....45% approval rating. You were open to constant retirement advice.

Actually, in a sense, this happens everyday. You are on stage, in all sorts of public settings where others are observing you: the coffee shop, grocery store, auto repair shop, or drug store. OK, in most cases people are not "reviewing" you. Actually, most of the time, they are so focused on themselves they are ignoring you.

But, if we can imagine for just a few moments, what would a "person reviewer" say about your life after retirement? Let's take a few of the normal ways a critic judges a movie and apply it to our life.

Originality: in a movie it is usually important that there be something original about the plot or the characters. The director has found some different way to tell a familiar story that the audience finds memorable. Sure, there are sequels that work well, but even they need a fresh twist on the original story.

A retired life well lived is very similar. If we try to copy someone else, live someone else's life, or just follow the standard path even if it doesn't suit us, we will miss what being truly alive is all about. Each one of us has a unique set of skills, gifts, and personality. Our lives must reflect that to be truly alive.

Character Development: I am sure we have all seen movies where the characters never come alive. Either the words they speak are wooden and unnatural, or the plot never forces them to change. The movie is no more than a still photo repeated for two hours.

One definition of character I found says it is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. As we age, we change. We gather life experiences. It would be unusual for someone to be exactly the same at 20 or 30 as he is at 60 or 70. Life has its effect on us, both for good and bad.  And, like a well-written movie script, we deepen and grow because of what happens. The key question becomes whether your character is developing in a way that represents the core of who you are. 

Musical Score: Music and sound can really enhance a movie. In some cases a certain musical presentation is what is most memorable. If I mention the movie, Jaws, don't you think of that sound when the great white is getting closer to the swimmer? Or, how about the theme from Star Wars? For many of us those notes are filled with memories.

Most of our lives aren't quite as dramatic as those two examples. But, think of a musical score as that part of your life that enhances the main story. Maybe it is a beautiful smile that lights up a room. It could be you are always there when a friend needs help or comfort. You can tell a joke at just the right time to defuse a tense or uncomfortable situation. These attributes aren't all your life is about, but they certainly add color and meaning to your life story.


Comparison to others in the same genre: Movie critics will often compare a particular type of movie to one that came before. Romantic dramas may be compared to Casablanca. A new tough-guy male actor has the performances of Clint Eastwood or Sylvester Stallone lurking in the shadows. A jilted fiancee might be seen through a comparison to Meg Ryan in French Kiss.  While sometimes unfair, it is inevitable that a new movie will have to compete with the past.

In human terms, we are always being compared to others. What type of career did we have, how big is our home, what do we drive? Our consumer-driven economy is based on creating desires for things we don't have. However, a satisfying retirement is very often built around a rejection of that mindset. As we mature and realize what really makes us happy, things we buy or possess often retreat into the background. Experiences, contentment, a more simplified lifestyle, or stronger relationships with others become the "things" we care more about.

Ultimately, we may see a movie even if a critic give it two thumbs down. Personally, I tend to disagree with the "experts" most of the time. Movies that score poorly I like while blockbusters often leave me cold.

Should I (or you) care what type of "review" others may give my life? No, not really. I am confident enough in my own decisions and self awareness to not worry too much about a less than blockbuster review. Importantly, though, I try to listen whenever an opinion or suggestion is offered.

Improvement in all areas of my life is my goal. I may not agree with it, but I will take retirement advice from all sources and then decide. I must be open enough to a script suggestion or a new way to enhance the music score that enriches my life. 

Lights - camera - action! 

An Important Lesson About Life: From My Granddaughter

I had my 69th birthday about two months ago. When the first number in my age is still a six I can think of myself as older middle age. But, next year when that six is replaced with a seven, I am officially in the old category.

I mentioned to my granddaughter that 70 would feel like I had reached the top of the roller coaster track and what lay ahead was a fast, scary, downhill run to the bottom. 

She quickly told me my concern was misplaced. Amazingly perceptive for a nine year old she said, "Granddad, the fun part of the ride is when you go down! That's when it gets really exciting!"

Wow. That immediately stopped me in my tracks. She was absolutely right, not only about roller coasters but about what is to come. The exhilarating part of the experience can still be ahead. Her one, heartfelt comment summarized everything I have been writing about for over eight years: that we choose how we approach this stage of our life. As long as we can, we explore, grow, engage and stimulate all our senses. 

Obviously, just like a roller coaster, our ride comes to an end. We may have all sorts of technological wonders and amazing medical care (if we can afford it), but we still have an expiration date waiting for us.

We can dwell on that end and some of the unpleasant things that may lie ahead, or we can throw our arms up into the air, screaming with excitement and feeling the rush of life through our veins as we grab all the joy we can.

I can't think of a better analogy than the roller coaster's plunge down the hill. Thank you, granddaughter, for giving me a fresh look at what lies ahead.
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The first in a series of three new booklet-length resources is now available. Preparing For Your Financial Future after Retirement is a guide to the most exciting journey of your life, the one that takes place after retirement.


Whether you are still working toward this new phase of your life, or already there, Preparing For Your Financial Future should be one of the resources you consult.

What Have We Lost?

As the drumbeat of scary, disturbing, upsetting, anger-inducing, even deadly events greet me after a week away in the Arizona Mountains, it becomes harder to think of pleasant subjects appropriate for a blog about the best time of life. Somehow writing about vacations, finding a fun hobby, or a new book seems almost flippant. So, I am going to vent a bit in this post, and then likely go back to what you came here for: retirement lifestyle advice.

I began my radio career as a newsman at the ripe old age of 15. My expose to news gathering and being careful in what I covered started at a very tender age. 

College included a few journalism classes, as well as a major in International Relations. I spent 4 years learning about diplomacy, history of wars and conflicts, the role of geography in shaping politics, and in using strength for positive purposes. 

During that time, many of our country's leading diplomats had graduated from the same school I attended. I could see firsthand the proper use of words, policy and compromise in helping shape the world. Of course, I also saw the disasters of things like the Vietnam War or the Civil Rights horrors, too. People are people and really bad things will happen.

I give you this background to help you understand my dismay at the current state of affairs. With the shooting at a Maryland newspaper and death threats against at least one Congresswoman as just the most recent events, it seems obvious that the rhetoric of the past 18 months is turning more deadly. Certain people feel emboldened to turn political slogans and dangerous talk into horrific actions.

Let's admit that there has always been biases in some of the media. After all, people are charged with viewing or interpreting an event or the words of a speech into a concise recap. Each of us has a way of seeing things that can color what we think, say, and do. Our response is filtered through our world view.

Yet, as someone who is a bit more of an insider in this field, with some training and exposure, I belive that the vast majority of people involved in the media approach their responsibility to be honest and accurate very, very seriously. Credibility is hard to earn and nearly impossible to regain once the truth is given short shift.

In today's hyper-politicized environment, some media outlets have determined that being opinionated and driven by one ideology or another increases profits and influence. Fox News on the right and MSNBC on the left have abandoned much of the "truth and moderation" premise of legitimate journalism. 

Some newspapers, magazines, radio networks or individual commentators chose their "side." The idea that used to dominate most of journalism: being centrist, moderate, and restricting opinions to the Editorial page, is slipping away. Economically, journalism has become a business that understands niche marketing: picking a target audience and super-serving it.

What is most dangerous is the recent decision by many of us that something we disagree with, or find goes against our beliefs, must be "fake." That word means the information presented is not real, it is fiction. Anything that doesn't support what we believe to be true is to be ignored and dismissed. By declaring information we disagree with as fake, we are declaring that we know the ultimate truth, with no margin for error.

There is no chance that what we think might need to be reexamined. There no possibility that we can be wrong about something. There is no possibility that a leader's statements are not true, but are made to stimulate a violent, non-thinking, unquestioning response of "the base" whether that is on the left or right. Anyone who suggests otherwise is the enemy and is open to an angry, maybe even violent reaction.

As a society, when we get to the point where anyone who disagrees with us is the enemy, in a very real and physical sense, I suggest we have drawn a line that will be very hard to erase.

If the only response to a different opinion, interpretation, or the truth of a matter is one of violent rejection and vilification, we are no longer experiencing a democracy. If one story, or one point of view is unquestioned and treated as words from the Oracle, with death to those who see something differently, what have we lost?

When the rhetoric, on the right or left leaves no room for anything other than ostracizing, degeneration, suspension of rights, silence of dissent, even killing in the name of what is correct, where are we?

If someone argues that it is about time one side of the argument stopped being put down and marginalized, turn-about is fair play, and it is their time to promote "truth," I think we are close to losing this experiment we began 243 years ago. If truth becomes open to interpretation, if facts are either real or alternative, much more than the media is under attack. One loud voice from Washington recently said that we are headed to a civil war. He left no doubt as to which point of view should "win."

I find Fox News to be pandering and immoral in their dismissal of anything that doesn't support their political and profit positioning. I find nasty attacks and biases from MSNBC and CNN just as wrong. Importantly, I fully support their right to do what they are doing. That is called democracy.

But, never in my worst nightmare, did I think we would be debating what is true and what is fake. And, never did I think that certain misguided citizens would vent their frustration against what they disagree with politically with a gun or bomb.

Are those who attack the media or resort to violence against others not terrorists? Do we find attacks against citizens in another country a crime that deserves the ultimate punishment, but find inciting violence with words and deeds against fellow citizens in our country simply our right to express our anger?

I will most likely be dead in 20 years or so. My fear is not for me. It is for my children, my grandchildren, and their children. It is for the unborn who may find themselves in a world where one way is the only way or where their ability to think and debate and reason is a crime.

What have we lost? I am afraid the answer is becoming clearer. Some will argue that we have been through periods in our history worse than this and have rebounded. Sorry, but this feels fundamentally different and much deeper.

By the way, I picked the July 4th holiday period to write this post, on purpose. What we celebrate on this day is what may be slipping away: Independence.


OK, rant over. Back in a few days, on target and calmer.

Retirement Living: A Quiet Escape

It is the quiet one can hear.  Dozens of different birds beginning their day with chirping, squawking, flapping, but all in a natural way, a sound not often heard at home.

The sprinklers click on, spraying a fine mist over the English ivy that cover parts of the yard hovering just above the side patio. The sound is not unlike a very fine rain except it ends precisely when the timer clicks off.

In 60 minutes, a handful of cars and one dump truck drive by, obeying the 25 mph limit, making their passage a gentle whoosh instead of a rumble or roar. The biggest surprise, here in a older neighborhood on the outskirts of Prescott, Arizona, is the lack of barking dogs. I have heard just one, and his bark broke the calm for just a few minutes.

I expected this neighborhood, with smaller cottages and older homes, all with trucks in the driveway and some form of vegetable garden on the side yard, to be alive with barking pets. But, not a problem. Our dog, Bailey, hears things we don't so an occasional low grumble in her throat announces a potential threat to her masters. Otherwise, sitting on one of the two side patios, by mid morning, after any commuters have left for their job, there is silence.

It has been a long time since I noticed the lack of much to hear. And, it was very welcome; just natural sounds, undisturbed by much from us humans. With very little wind, no clouds to distract the mind, I was left with my thoughts, a totally engrossing book, and the joy of a hot cup of slightly bitter, just-brewed coffee.

Betty and I were spending a week at an Airbnb about two hours north of home. Back less than a month from our European trip, we were looking for an excuse to miss some of the worst of an Arizona summer. Late June is hot, blazingly so, with no humidity and no clouds. The summer rains, if they come, won't start for several more weeks, so there is nothing to break the day-to-day sameness.

In a stroke of lucky timing, our daughter's house was undergoing 6 weeks of major kitchen and flooring renovations. Betty and I decided to head north and invited her family to enjoy a normal home environment for a week. Instead of using a refrigerator stuck in the garage, hand washing dishes on the back porch, and cooking over a grill, she and her family had a full kitchen, a working dishwasher,  a big TV, and no construction mess to contend with for six glorious days. 

We relished the chance to visit an area we enjoy, have some meals with friends who live here, and simply relax. We'd get up early enough to take Bailey to nearby lakes and parks, where her nose went into overtime sampling the new smells. With two back patios at the house we could move to whichever side offered the most shade or breezes.

  

Breakfast was coffee, tea, a danish,and yogurt in the cool backyard. Lunch and dinner choices were picked from what Trip Advisor suggested. We read a lot, watched favorite shows on Netflix, blogged, and edited photos. The pace of each day was slow, the pleasures fulfilling.

We visited three nearby lakes and ventured into the forest for a few hikes. A beautiful neighborhood pack was an oasis of green in the high desert tans of most of the area. A big band jazz concert at the Courthouse Square provided the music for hundreds of music lovers and dozens of dancers.

Lynx Lake

Goldwater Lake

Watson Lake's amazing rock formations

Bailey on the hunt

All too soon, we had to pack up, leave the quiet neighborhood and cooler weather. Our regular life drew us back to the over-heated desert and our normal chores and responsibilities. But, the week-long change left us refreshed and ready to tackle what lay ahead.

 Thank you, Prescott, for the memories!

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The first in a series of three new booklet-length resources is now available. Preparing For Your Financial Future after Retirement is a guide to the most exciting journey of your life, the one that takes place after retirement.


Whether you are still working toward this new phase of your life, or already there, Preparing For Your Financial Future should be one of the resources you consult.

What Do Retired People Do All Day?

  See if you spot a trend with these questions:

* What do I do after retirement?

* Things to do after you retire

* What do you do when you are retired?

* What do you during retirement?

These are just a few of over fifty similar questions I found after some research on what concerns people about retirement. Of course, financial issues topped the list. But, worries about having enough to do and not being bored are very much top-of-mind. After several decades of having time dictated by work, the thought of unplanned days stretching into the future is a little unsettling.

One of the questions included in one of my books was, " How do you fill your days? Are you ever bored or does your time fill up?" I was quite intrigued with the tremendous variety of answers. Here is a sampling:

Gail P. The joke in my family is that my headstone will say, “She was never bored!” Whether I’m busy or relaxing, I’m never bored. 

Paula M. I sometimes wonder how I fill my days!!! I look back to when I was a young wife and mom and remember all that I did in a day, and marvel that I could get it all done. And then I look at what I do now, and think that I am a “SLUG”. I also think I got a lot more done when I worked full time – somehow, you just fit it all in.

Without time restraints, it is easy to sit at the computer and before you know it, hours have gone by – or I go to the gym and 2 hours later, I am leaving – not having exercised for 2 hours, but having talked to a couple people, taken a shower, read the front page of the paper, etc. Before, I would have gone and exercised and been done and gone in 30-45 minutes because I would have needed to get to the store and buy groceries to go home and fix dinner. I guess there are times that I am bored, but not often – seems that there is always something to do and not enough time to do it.

Banjo Steve    My time seems to always fill up. Even when I don't know what to do at the moment, it becomes a time of contemplation for me rather than any kind of boredom. I don't mind, at odd times, constructively doing nothing in particular. Conversely, I try to avoid overbooking myself, having no desire to return to a new manifestation of the rat race.

Bill D. Regular routine includes physical exercise / activities with spouse, friends & family / reading & research re self development / volunteerism / financial (investments & home budget) management /periodic travel. 

Doug N. Our saying is "Retirement means you have to be responsible for your own entertainment." My analogy is that I have a copy of Ernie Zelinski's Get-A-Life Tree on my desk. It's been there for nearly a decade, but I haven't made the time to work on it. Too many other things to do.

I start almost every morning with 10 minutes of stretching while I'm brewing my tea. Next I check the surf forecast so that if conditions are unusually good then I can enjoy an extra dawn patrol. Finally I spend at least 30 minutes every morning working on the blog or the next edition of "The Military Guide".

After that the day writes the schedule: my spouse and I try to work out together every Sunday, Tuesday, and Friday morning (calisthenics, weights, aerobics). I try to train taekwondo every Monday & Wednesday evening. That leaves Thursdays and Saturdays for surfing, but I can also double up on Mon &; Wed if the waves are big.

I take a nap almost every day. I meet with an investment club almost every week. My spouse taught me "20 minutes a day". That means we try to do yard work or a home-improvement project together every day for 20 minutes. The reality is that once we've started, we get into it and frequently go for an hour or longer.

Roger W. I am like a little kid in that I get bored easily. For the most part I do what strikes my mood for that day. I am a prolific blogger so that takes quite a bit of time. I have two plus acres of land to keep up. I have an eighty year old home that needs constant attention. I enjoy reading and am now in the middle of a blog study of church history and how we got to where we are today. This and many unplanned things make up most of my days. But then there are some days where I choose to do absolutely nothing.

Michael V. In terms of other interests, my wife has always done a better job than myself. She has played organized tennis for years and has dedicated time to an assortment of local charities. For me, I seem to fill my time dealing with the maintenance of a house that is too big for us, bill paying, finances, taxes, etc., etc. I also enjoy baking, cooking on the grill, bike riding and daily walks. 

We have recently purchased 2 new bicycles and have started riding together. We will soon be taking this hobby on a road trip, right after we get our daughter settled into law school. 

Pat W. I do not remember being bored anytime in the last 20 years. My time fills up rapidly & I have to remember (repeatedly!) that I cannot do everything I want to do, even in retirement.

Don S. There are not enough hours in the day. I am NOT bored. Bear in mind I also stop "working" around dinner so you can call those hours wasted or not. For me I try to achieve some kind of balance between "work" and relaxation. What "relaxation" means is different to everyone but to me it means doing something brainless: maybe reading, TV, Internet, just not work.

Jane P.   I’ve had three boring days in two years. We have an exercise or swimming class every weekday morning. We have a garden. I try to meet one of several friends for coffee or lunch each week. I’m a mediator in training and I try to have one mediation event set up each week. I have a blog and a blogging community. I play games on Facebook.

Bertha T. When did we work? The days fly by and are productive. When I feel bored I do panic just a little. That is when I read a book or do a crossword puzzle. There are periods when a change of work is play. We live in a city that has a lot of opportunities for exploring and in the winters we travel to Arizona for a change of scenery. The fact that we have found a way to make changes as a part of our routine life keeps each day interesting. So the answer is "yes" sometimes I get bored but there are solutions for the short term feeling.  

Dick J. During the early part of my second year of retirement I did frequently become bored, and depressed at times. Not from serious problems but from thinking too much about how my pre-retirement vision of retirement wasn't matching the reality. 

Right now I'm doing some of the training but it will be finished within the month. I most likely will not seek to do more of that anytime soon. I fill my time planning for the next trip, traveling and spending time every now and then in New England, spending 3 or 4 days every few weeks with my 80-something parents who live about 4 hours away, cooking (always has been an activity I enjoy) and doing some light landscaping in our small yard. 

My wife and I enjoy reading and watching British mysteries on Netflix. As the months have gone by, I am more and more relaxed and satisfied with life without work.

John H. With my current routine, my day is usually close to full. Sometimes I get a little bored, but when that happens I call one of my kids, mother or sibling to chat.

Paula S. My days are full and varied which makes it difficult to tell anyone what I have been doing. Thankfully projects don't lie around waiting to get done as long, however there are many still on the list to be completed. I'm never bored.

Katie S. Communicating with friends, old and new, via Internet and Skype. Learning new things - anything that happens to grab my fancy. Learning new languages and planning my next travel. Art, art, art! I love to cook! Yoga, walking around my village and visiting with people I run into, writing, reading. spending time with my guy, gardening and hanging out with friends.

Mark R. I start the day off with what I like to refer to as “spiritual exercises” (including reading, prayer, reflection and meditation). This is usually followed by “coffee time” with my wife. I then usually end up spending an hour or so at the gym. During the late morning to mid- afternoon, I am often involved in various classes/courses offered at OLLI (some with and some without my wife).

My day is often quite filled and I have still not done many things that I wanted to when I first retired (e.g. do more ball room dancing with my wife, getting involved in a ministries that seek to make a difference in the world around me or to find more social connections with other people as I know that I can be a bit of a loner at times).

Carla H. I am always working on something, so rarely bored.

Janet L. When I worked, I regularly wished for a couple of additional hours every day as I always ran short of time. I continue to have that dilemma. The days fly past and often I find myself having to set time limits for tasks. I try to curtail myself from making too many commitments so that I don’t have to dread looking at my schedule for the week.

I feel like a kid in a candy store with so many choices about how I’ll spend my time. Although much is written about boredom as a retirement risk, I have never suffered boredom.

Doreen P. My time fills up. Two days a week I volunteer at the garden. I work with flowers now. I live in NYC so if I feel bored I go to a different museum, library or exhibit. If you live alone you have to leave your house and go out and meet people.

I read, go to museums, concerts, parks, events at the library, out with friends-it is just that everything is at a slower pace-no more rushing. I also like to exercise.

Shirley L. My days are filled with writing, biking or hiking, lunches with friends, gardening, reading, traveling, and probably a little too much news-following. I'm working on that one. And of course some cooking and cleaning--you still can't get away from that!

Bob B. During the summer, we’re active in a number of outdoor activities – hiking, bike riding, kayaking, camping, fly fishing, and target shooting. During the winter, we snowshoe or cross-country ski – when snow conditions permit. 

Billie S. I’m never bored but I am sometimes “lazy”, ignoring chores for the moment and reading a lot. That’s happened less and less over the course of this first year. I miss being part of something I consider important to society, i.e., making a contribution. I am ready to find a way to do that which will fit with my time in the next year.

Sarah V. I play competitive league tennis which fills my schedule for at least three days per week for nine months out of the year. I spend time volunteering for local charities and organizing fundraising events. I am active in our community book club and Zumba class and I love to travel, cook, entertain and take photographs.  

Tammy P. My normal daily routine (not that too many days are normal, actually) consists of waking up around 6:00 AM, enjoying coffee and conversation with my husband before moving on to our morning workouts. This is followed by breakfast and time on the computer doing my various electronic chores of email, itinerary planning and blog reading and writing.

We generally have anywhere from one to three activities planned on any given day, plus our normal chores to get done. Plus, we each have a lot of follow ups we need to do each day as a result of the activities we are involved in. For myself, this means I need to practice piano, the recorder and my Spanish each day, as well as stay on top of the subscribed reading from the four book clubs I belong to.

Other things we do regularly are listening to educational DVD’s on topics ranging from Greek history to the science of wine making, take weekly long distance bike rides, attend yoga classes, attend a lifelong learning program at our nearby university, gardening, and in my case, needlepoint, baking and cooking. We also utilize a variety of online discount sites to enjoy a multitude of entertainment and dining options, often last minute but at a fraction of the price we used to pay prior to retirement.

Regarding boredom: As long as we understand TV is not an option to alleviate boredom, we are never bored. In our experience, using TV to alleviate boredom actually creates an enhanced state of boredom.
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These responses from retirees should provide you some comfort. The number of activities and ways of staying busy are as varied as the folks who provided them. 

What do retired people do all day? Quite a lot. Join us!